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My struggle with mental health in varsity

By Anivuyina Ketsiwe, 25, Johannesburg

My biggest challenge in varsity was dealing with my mental health. Not only is this not unique, but it is an issue that has plagued today’s students in ways that I still do not understand.

In 2017, I was completing my 3rd year of my undergraduate studies at Wits University. It was at the peak of submission and exam preparation time – ironically the time in the academic year where student suicide cases are at an all-time high.

I honestly was not coping at all. I would always pride myself for being such a put-together person but I just could not handle anything anymore. I was biting off more than I could chew, from running a student organisation that was relying on me for every single thing, to maintaining good grades so I could be one of the few students to be accepted into the Honours Programme with a bursary for the following year. Eventually, I cracked! 

I remember calling my mom one night, and the moment I heard her voice, I immediately started crying hysterically because all that weight that I was carrying for so many months finally took over, and that feeling was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt in my life.

I was hardly sleeping because I physically could not fall asleep for weeks. I wasn’t talking to anyone, and I was not eating either. It all just felt like the biggest and longest mental breakdown.

On a Saturday morning, after explaining to my faculty head tutor the day before that I was not doing well, I got up, I went onto Google and searched for mental institutes or psychologists near me, and without notifying my family, friends, and boyfriend, I checked myself into Akeso (psychiatric hospital). I stayed there for 8 days and to this day, I maintain that that was the best decision I had ever made for myself.

Varsity is an amazing environment but it is also a very brutal environment. You have this overwhelming pressure to succeed, make your family proud, be the first university graduate in your family, and be the person who will take your family out of poverty. All of this puts a huge amount of pressure on yourself, and it eventually shows. I learnt that the hard way and hope my lesson can help others to look for help if they need it!

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