Being YOU is hard, especially as a youth. Why? Because you have to be you while being a student, a bursary/scholarship recipient, a child, a significant other, a parent, a leader, a mentor, a friend, and so much more. There are so many roles and responsibilities that you have and so many expectations from those roles and responsibilities, and wow, have you ever asked yourself, how did I even get to where I am?

I have struggled for so many years with trying to be me while at the same time being a specific person to someone else. What I mean by this is that there are different expectations from you as a being, and you being ‘something’ to someone else (e.g. you’re someone’s child), you have to behave in a certain way so that you do not bring shame or some sort of embarrassment to the family, the fact that you are a friend to someone, you have to ensure that you are always there when they need you, the fact that you are a student, you need to ensure that you pass your courses. So, being ME was hard.

I struggled with what I can call balance and meeting expectations. How do you balance expectations of different roles and responsibilities that you find yourself in as well as being genuinely you by not sabotaging your own happiness and growth rate? Some roles and responsibilities are created by ourselves – goal to receive your degree. Some are just inherent – family expecting you to be successful and some are assumed – assuming that you have a responsibility towards your friend’s life.

In light of this, I have really found what has helped me achieve a balance, of course not 100% but enough for me to cope and be happy, and this too I was able to develop through the help of therapy.

The following is what has worked so that being ME is not so difficult;

Firstly, I prioritise. As a student, it is very important that I get my degree. As an upcoming entrepreneur, it is important that I establish businesses and learn from the ups and downs of being an entrepreneur. I cannot be a hero to everyone at this stage.

Secondly, I reflect. I look at my week and what happened within that week. Ask myself why I upset or extremely happy about a particular event? Reflection helps in understanding what triggers your emotions negatively or positively and that helps a lot in terms of balancing your life and expectations that come from external relationships (family, friends etc.)

Thirdly, I pray. This is some sort of meditation. It helps soothe your emotions and keeps you genuinely hopeful. It helps motivate you while teaching you to not take things too personal. It teaches you to love and see the best in people. Meditation helps a lot because the calmer and at peace you are, you can think better and create a better balance in your life.

If you can balance yourself, then you will start to see the balance within your life because if you are viewing your life as a mess like I did, it’s because you are not putting yourself first. So, start by putting yourself first. It’s not easy but it will get easier with practice, and being me, is not hard anymore.