Ladies! Remember that time you had to pretend that you’re on a phone call to avoid the group of men you’re approaching by the corner? Or the time that same group cat called you, whistling as you walk past calling you “mabebeza”? Or that time you were harassed by a guy for your phone number, so much so that you had to give him a fake number so he could leave you alone?

Recently, I had to head out to meet with a friend for a gallery opening event we were invited to. The venue was not too far from my student residence, so I decided to walk by myself. I looked nice in my summer dress, which lay just above my knees, I wore sneakers, accessorised with earrings and a simple face beat aka makeup (with my mask of course). As I was walking my heart started pounding. If you’re a woman in South Africa this is a usual occurrence, you know, when you’re about to approach a group of men hanging around the corner you normally have to make a decision. Do I toughen up and just walk by? Do I pull out my earphones and pretend that I am listening to music? Or do I do the classic ‘pretend phone call’ to avoid them? Or simply cross the street before you get to them only for them get back on the same street you were walking on after you’ve past them? Oh, the horrors of being a woman in South Africa, right?! Simple tasks become so complicated.

Anyway, to my advantage the sight of a police car waiting at a red traffic light made this decision easier for me, or at least I thought. So, I proceeded to be the brave girl and walk past those men because they would not dare harass me with a police car right there. What happened next was shocking to say the least but also reinforced my belief in the #DefundThePolice topic. I guess I could say it was naïve of me to believe I was safe around the South African police service employees. Not only did the group of men around the corner verbally harass me in a perverted manner (as I expected), so did the policeman on the passenger seat, waving at me in a romantic manner and asking for my name. If you are a woman in South Africa, you would know this so-called waving and asking for your name is not innocent at all. There are underlying inappropriate intentions there.

In a so-called democratic and free country such as South Africa, a woman should not have to experience such belittling and dehumanising behaviour. But also, a woman should feel safe and protected around police officers, right? However, my experience proved that neither of these apply in South Africa. When the people who are placed in society to protect us become our perpetrators then we have no democracy, we have no security or freedom in our country. Gender based violence (GBV) is a serious issue in our country, thousands of cases go unreported because people have no trust in the justice system, whilst those that do get reported do not get any justice. As GBV continues to surge in South Africa, the police continue to be funded and paid salaries. To do what exactly? Except be a part of the problem. How many times have you heard people say that they had to wait hours for police to arrive at an emergency or say that their cases have gone without improvements for years?

In what I experienced, the police officer did not do his job of ensuring that I was protected, yet he gets paid on a monthly basis. The GBV and crime stats prove that. I believe that government should invest in social services. For example, invest in education to ensure that all children in South Africa get an equal opportunity for an education, both in the basic and higher education institutions and ensure that children are being taught about consent, sex education, how to treat and have respect for others, that they should not harass women and children, or anyone for that matter.

Women are often told to dress a certain way, behave a certain way, watch your drink at a party or don’t hangout in certain spaces to avoid sexual assault etc, the conversation is always projected towards women and not men. Not enough is being done to educate men and young boys. There won’t be a need to tell women how to live in society if men and boys respect women and do not violate them.

My experience is not the first nor is it the last sadly so, it is a part of many other stories that the youth, especially women, face on a daily basis in spaces that they interact in. We are truly not safe.