To be honest, I’ve always known that there is a possibility that I might be out of work even though I hold so many degrees, but it never crossed my mind that it could be for longer than 6 months. Going into a year now, this has created a scar in me that words cannot even do justice.

I come from a family where I set records, like being the first to get a matric certificate with admission to bachelors, going to university and graduating in record time, furthering my studies until master’s level. I am the first and this alone puts so much pressure on me because family members started seeing me as a light, as an example. They started believing that life is changing, and it is doing so for the better.

Now, left in the arms of unemployment, reality hits hard. Before people even utter words of judgement, you already judge yourself. You start noticing things that at first you never even thought existed. Instead of celebrating the achievements and honour yourself for all the hard work you’ve gone through, you begin to wonder if it was all worth it. Basically, what I am trying to say is, your self-esteem is affected so terribly.

Well, let me stop generalising and tell you more about me.

Being unemployed took away my joy. I mean, I worked as a student and I had means to support myself. I had a scholarship, I never struggled getting anything I desired. I was able to support my little brother and mom as student and now, boom! A year that was supposed to be a blessing because finally yo’ girl decided to go to corporate and gain experience became a year of darkness and gloom. Unable to even get myself airtime, you can imagine the hardship.

I feel, at this moment, had unemployment come in another year the impacts would be better, yet again I wonder what my excuse would be because although very bad, this pandemic has given me a better excuse and has hidden my shame in a sense because you know, I am not alone. A lot of people lost their jobs, companies closed down, the economy is affected. Everyone is affected and unemployment doesn’t leave me to be naked and exposed alone.